Thursday, December 18, 2003
Sorry about the recent downtime, we had to move HQ to Estonia to avoid..er...stonings.
We would just like to celebrate Flatfish's 100th sign-up! We have a 100% YES vote on our newest poll, asking if those who used Flatfish were happy with it!
*A moderate degree of rounding was used on these figures for convenience of the public.
We would just like to celebrate Flatfish's 100th sign-up! We have a 100% YES vote on our newest poll, asking if those who used Flatfish were happy with it!
*A moderate degree of rounding was used on these figures for convenience of the public.
Thursday, December 04, 2003
Gah!
Don't listen to their lies - we have lab technicians aplenty! And we can also usually spell!
This is NOT a joke - possibly a huge packet of lies, but not a joke! And just to keep you up to date, this is the CEO of FlatFish Interlegs Service giving you an update.
All of the features found below have been compiled into the new FOL package - Flatfish On Line! You can't actually buy this product until you have had a minimum of 50 free trials vomitted out of letterbox. If you actually try the trial, you cannot install the full package without first repaying all of the "free time" you got with it in full. In fact, you can't even uninstall it without doing so - all of the "optional extras" are installed as standard*, and the program rapidly takes over your computer until, after 3 reboots, your computer starts up and instantly says "FOL has encountered a fatal - " and then shuts down. Get it now!
PS: I am the CEO of Flatfish Interlegs Service, in case you were wondering.
*I.E. You can't actually stop them from installing themselves - unticking the checkbox is simply you being sarcastic (we know you too well!)
Don't listen to their lies - we have lab technicians aplenty! And we can also usually spell!
This is NOT a joke - possibly a huge packet of lies, but not a joke! And just to keep you up to date, this is the CEO of FlatFish Interlegs Service giving you an update.
All of the features found below have been compiled into the new FOL package - Flatfish On Line! You can't actually buy this product until you have had a minimum of 50 free trials vomitted out of letterbox. If you actually try the trial, you cannot install the full package without first repaying all of the "free time" you got with it in full. In fact, you can't even uninstall it without doing so - all of the "optional extras" are installed as standard*, and the program rapidly takes over your computer until, after 3 reboots, your computer starts up and instantly says "FOL has encountered a fatal - " and then shuts down. Get it now!
PS: I am the CEO of Flatfish Interlegs Service, in case you were wondering.
*I.E. You can't actually stop them from installing themselves - unticking the checkbox is simply you being sarcastic (we know you too well!)
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Just a quick update to ensure that you are all kept in the light!
FlatFish Interlegs is going from strength to strength. We have built up, over our time in business the best, most useless ISP on the planet, and haven't made any money doing it. Hurry up. SUBSCRIBE!
Email: flatfishinterlegs@hotmail.com and pledge your support to the fastest growing ISP in the world!
P.S. Our laboratory technicians are working around the clock to bring you the latest in Internet technologies. Without them, we'd be nothing (exactly you say... We have no laboratory technicians).
FlatFish Interlegs is going from strength to strength. We have built up, over our time in business the best, most useless ISP on the planet, and haven't made any money doing it. Hurry up. SUBSCRIBE!
Email: flatfishinterlegs@hotmail.com and pledge your support to the fastest growing ISP in the world!
P.S. Our laboratory technicians are working around the clock to bring you the latest in Internet technologies. Without them, we'd be nothing (exactly you say... We have no laboratory technicians).
